Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance. -- Oscar Wilde
I am involved in a happy relationship. I work in an office with Damon, who has a well documented crush on me. We have playful conversations and flirtations, but he is aware that it will never go anywhere. (Is this cheating?) After a particularly stressful workweek, a group of co-workers decide to meet up for drinks. Damon attends. (Once I know Damon is going am I guilty?) After a few cocktails, the DJ starts spinning some dance music. He asks me to dance. I accept. (Okay, what about now?) We sweat it out on the dance floor and he buys me another drink.(I know Damon has ulterior motives, is this where I stray?) The DJ slows it down and Damon comes to find me for another dance- it's harmless, so I say yes. (Is it really harmless?) When he pulls me close, I can feel that he was aroused by our proximity. Dame is definitely working with something. He's whispering in my ear. I'm responding. (I've gotta be cheating now, right?) He kisses my neck, I don't pull away. The tequila is working on my conscience, I am totally uninhibited. We leave together. (I'm drunk and leaving with a guy who I know is into me. Cheating?) He walks me to my car where we talk for 20 minutes. He kisses me. (Intimate contact, but not intercourse. Is that cheating?) I know I need to go home but Damon is convincing me to stay. He says he'd feel better if he took me home because I am a little tipsy. I accept his offer. (Now, I'm in a car with him, alone. Is this the breaking point?) When I get home he kisses my cheek and asks if I'm coming out (with the group) next week. I say yes, and then go in to the man I love. (No sex- does that equal no cheating?)
So, at this point, it's a matter of opinion. When did the cheating start, or was there any cheating?
This could be YOU!! Never tell a loved one of an infidelity: you would be badly rewarded for your troubles. Although one dislikes being deceived, one likes even less to be undeceived. -- Ninon De Lenclos
Ok after thinking everything through, I have to honestly say I believe in verbal and physical affairs. Now let me explain. Verbal affairs, I believe happen all the time, example, say your married or commited to someone, and you start to notice someone other than your spouse is attractive, to me, is that cheating no, but when you start to flirt on a regular basis, and phone numbers are exchanged, calls and texting are being made without your partner knowing, then thats a line definitly crossed. Thats what I call verbal cheating. Physical cheating to me is kissing, sleeping with someone other then or partner, hold hands...you know phyiscal contact like that. Thats cheating in my eyes. I guess it really depends on who you are and what your mind and heart tell you at the time...
ReplyDeleteMy opinion is that once the thought has formed, the cheating has commenced! Once I decide I want to see a guy naked I may have well had committed the act. That's just my personal opinion. The thought perpetuates the act.
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