Moving On- An Original Poem by Me!

Moving on is not as simple as I thought
Because my thoughts are consumed with you
And all the things we ever did and never did
(Except in my fantasies).
All the conversations we ever had and never had replay in my subconscious with HD clarity.
All the places we’ve ever gone and never gone take on the persona of one of the wonders of the world.
How do I move on when I feel as if we’re just getting started?
So many things left unsaid and undone
Coupled with what I’ve said and I’ve done-
Our business is unfinished.
Add to that things you’ve said and you’ve done, and we have quite the conundrum.
How am I supposed to move on when I’m haunted by shit we could have done and should have done but didn’t?
I’m constantly confronted with shit you needed to say and wanted to say while I was saying too much.
I’m pissed knowing what we could be and should be while I watch you pour the energy, that could and would build “us” up, into bitches who don’t appreciate all that you are.
Your hope is she will be and can be me. She ain’t me.
I gotta move on cause the shoulda, woulda, couldas add up to nothing.
That’s what makes this so hard-
Where do you go from nowhere?

Why I Always Fall for Your Type?

 

 

 

So Drake has this song that says it all...

 

 

Can I, can I save you from you (yeah)
Cause you know there's something
Missing and that champagne you've
Been sipping not suppose to make you
Diffrent all the time.

It's starting to feel like the wrong thing
To do (yeah); 'cause with all that recongnition
It gets hard for you to listen to the things
That I must say to make you mine.
But if boy, have some fun boy. We'll be fine
Trying to convince myself I found one
Making a mistake I never learned from!

I swear, I always fall for your type (yeah)
For youur type.
Tell me why, I always fall for your type (ohhohh)
For your type.
I just can't explain this shit at all!
I just can't explain this shit at all!
I just can't explain this shit at all!
I just can't explain this shit at all!
Never believed in people like you!

I am officially unplugged from the "love" matrix. Deuces!!

Is "The System" Responsible For the Condition of Black Men in America?

"I've been in the city and the dichotomy of the women and the men in the minorities, there is a difference in the fact that most minority women, either the single parent or coming from a poor neighborhood, are motivated more so than the minority men," Reynolds said, when asked what he would do to increase diversity at state colleges. "And it's a pretty good reason. Most of the women who are single parents have to find work to support their family. The minority men find it more lucrative to be able to do drugs or other avenues rather than do education. It's easier." (source- Huffington Post)

Recently, during campaigning for a senate seat, Tea Party candidate Al Reynolds stated that Black men in Chicago would rather sell dope than get an education. This comment sparked heated debates all around the nation from break rooms to barber shops, radio stations to bar talk. In one such conversation on a nationally syndicated radio show, Reynolds’ “opinion” was followed by the question- is the system responsible for the condition of black men in this country? First of all, to follow Reynolds statement with that question lends some type of credence to it. Do we really buy into the hype that an entire city of men prefers crime over education? Further, do we believe that the majority of black men in America are in a “state” that reflects poorly on our race? Well, here are my thoughts on the subject.
Once upon a time, not very long ago, “the system” had power over black people throughout our country. During those times it was known as Jim Crow, segregation, and any other term that indicated that black people were less than our white counterparts. Our predecessors fought hard through tragedies and tribulations for our generation to enjoy equal rights in this country. Segregation became a thing of the past and we all began to live happily ever after. “The System” became an urban legend to a lot of people, people too far removed from the way the world was in that era.
Blacks in America have access to educations, careers, opportunities that would never have been afforded to our grandparents and in some cases, our parents, and that reflects some growth in this nation.
So, if a black man is not living up to his potential in America who is to blame? Do we blame his parents? Quality of education? Do we place the blame squarely on his shoulders?
I say, blame the system. Wait, the system no longer exists, right? No one quite knows who is involved in the system. We can hardly identify the role of a system in the world, how can we blame it? Truth is, the system to black men is like the boogeyman to little children. As long as you believe in him and fear him, he has power over you. There are men who have no fear of the system who have achieved a measure of success in this country simply because they can’t be held back by a principle they don’t acknowledge. But, if they don’t acknowledge it, how can they be sure it has not held them back? There are men who believe that the system controls every aspect of their life and it stifles their growth into successful men. But if that were the case, there would be NO positive examples of black men.
The system exists, in the hearts and minds of people- both black and white. Al Reynolds believes in the system. He and his Tea Party cronies are picking at the scabs of the wounds left by Jim Crow and racism. We can’t allow them to convince us that the boogeyman has power over us. We can’t view one another with consternation and condemnation. What happened to the spirit of brotherhood that we displayed when racism was more overt? Those of us who achieve a level of success could mentor our brothers who believe the system holds them back. Then there are brothers who use “the system” as an excuse to be intentionally mediocre. Those guys should just go and ask Al and friends if they can be poster children for the Tea Party movement- if you can’t beat the system, may as well join the system.

Propagandized

History dictates- from the earliest of times- that when a person spits too much truth in too short a time his reward is a loss of life (e.g. Jesus Christ, MLK, Malcolm, JFK).  Too much undiluted truth is poison to the plans of the few.  The "powers" may find a need to water it down a bit, so they put tiny bits of the truth out there but envelope it in nonsense.  All of this is an attempt to make these truths seem implausible.  Then there are agents of disinformation-  they spread lies from a reputable mouth.  In other words, if that person sleeps well at night and doesn't fear for his life, he is likely the worst kind of Judas.  A disinformation junkie.  Some of what they say is fact, but the lies are so colorful that folks are thrown off the truth's scent.  We are charged with the task of filtering through the bullshit to obtain the pearls of truth.  Rarely can we take much at face value.   Satan, or Lucifer, has been called the father of the lie.  He was (and is)  known to use scripture to support his lies and deceptions.    He takes the utmost in truth and perverts it.  Since this approach works more often than not, it serves as a blueprint that those in power have carefully adopted.  They follow it nearly to the letter.  Whether they acknowledge Satan's handiwork or even his existence, he is the architect of their grand design.  My challenge to all of America is to WAKE UP.  Do not blindly follow a leader, political party, even religion.  Study.  Make conscious decisions.  Be vigilant and process information independently.  Most importantly, when a person shows you who he is, believe him.   

Re-Investing in Self

Lately I have been thinking about ways to improve myself.  I recognize some characteristics and beliefs that I have that have been incredibly limiting and am now ready to release them.  The issue that I wrestle with is that some of these characteristics are not necessarily negative- just limiting.  For instance, I am extremely loyal.  I am loyal to my friends, my lovers, my hangouts.  I show up when I don't feel like showing up, I support when I am in need of support, I love even when the love is not returned.  I am always THERE.  So, one of the steps I need to take is re-investing that loyalty in myself.  I need to slow down when I feel sick, and rest.  I need to hit ignore on the phone sometimes and ponder my own situations instead of strapping my friends' problems to my back and carrying them around like they are mine.  I need to quit feeling obligated to being "the life of the party" and sit a couple out.  I need to be selfish.  Spend a day at home with my son doing absolutely nothing or everything (depending on how I feel).  Go back to reading books from cover to cover, because it's more entertaining than hanging out.  And if my "friends" can't handle the selfish version of ME, say fuck them and mean it.  I need to re-invest in me, and they don't have to like it.  Once upon a time loyalty to others was an endearing quality that made people want to be around me but somehow now it translates into boring and I become taken for granted.  There is at least one person who won't take my loyalty for granted, though, and that's me.  As long as I am looking out for me I can't go wrong.  Once I have mastered being loyal to my wishes, my feelings, my SELF I may be able to pour it out to my friends, lovers, and hangouts.  For now, I plan to concentrate on being the best woman, mother, sister, auntie- the best me- I can be.   The next step in my evolution is for me to "devolve" into a self centered, narcissistic, asshole so that I can learn how much of myself to give to others and how much to hoard.  I think that learning to value me and mine over everything is an important step to growth.  If I value me and mine, I will do nothing to de-value us.  World be ready, I am unveiling the new and improved version of MizzInkredible!!

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.  ~Author Unknown

To the question of your life you are the answer, and to the problems of your life you are the solution.  ~Joe Cordare

9/11 National Holiday?

Should the anniversary of the 9/11/2001 be a federally recognized holiday?  In my opinion, it should not.  I feel this way because, while we won't forget the egregious nature of the attack, we have to acknowledge that our government did not take the necessary steps to prevent it.  So, do we reward them for NOT protecting the citizens of this country by giving them a day off with pay?  No, we should send them to work that day, and everyday, until they admit the part the federal government played in making these attacks possible.
    I could delve into several theories that chronicle the conspiracy, but I will, instead, encourage you to read Jesse Ventura's "American Conspiracies".  Soon after the attacks, I (along with many other people) began to think that there had to be more to the story than what we were being fed by the media.  How could an attack of this magnitude be possible in America, especially when the "weapons" of choice were airplanes?  It should have been nearly impossible for that many planes to be hijacked and re-routed without red flags going up or even ONE being intercepted (although I do believe that the plane that went down in Pennsylvania was shot down).  Who had prior knowledge that our fighter jets would be participating in military drills that took them far away from the sites of the attacks? 
   The federal government had warnings that these attacks were being planned, yet failed to take them serious enough to place our military on heightened alert.  Because of their prior knowledge and inaction, they should be held equally (if not MORE) responsible for the acts that precipitated the loss of lives on that fateful day.  So, give them the day off?  Surely, you jest.  They took THAT day off.

Keeping the Faith- and Why That's Hard to Do

I am a young, black, single mother who is gainfully employed, attractive and independent.  I am extremely bright, have a good personality, and am quite well rounded.  Yet, I am unwillingly single.  I said it- UNWILLINGLY single.  Meaning, I am lonesome, I would like to meet a black man who brings to the table what I bring.  I have previously used all of the single black woman cop outs- straight out of the cop out manual.  They're either married, locked up, gay or dating white women.  Very short manual.  But, the truth is, I now know that I need to inspect what I expect.  I also need to explore what may be some of my less than endearing qualities.  Some men can't handle an ultra competitive, potty mouthed, hard drinking, rough around the edges female.  Not that I am willing to try to "change" into a more suitable chick if they can't.  Again, I believe in a higher power- God, Jehovah.  So, I have requested from Him to deliver to me a man who can handle me as I am.  Who is turned on by my competitiveness, who loves me despite my mouth, will match me drink for drink, and realizes that diamonds start off with rough edges.  And, I believe that God will deliver that man to me in His own time- when both of us are ready to receive the gift of love.  I am attempting to exercise patience and faith in this process.  I am devoting time and energy to the process of connecting to my inner being and becoming a more rounded person in the meantime.  But deep, deep down, I still want to force God's hand.  I want God to send me the man I think is perfect for me instead of the man HE knows is perfect for me.  I lust and long after one man in particular, and I make it my business to focus on all the ways that I know he is the best thing for me.  Truth is, he may very well be but I need to let go of what my ego is telling me and move (in faith)  throughout my days like he is just another friend.  And that is very hard to do.  He isn't just another friend, he is amongst my best friends.  He entered my life a year ago, and I can't remember the last time I bonded with anyone so quickly.  He is a fixture in my life- I can't think of going one single week without seeing his face or hearing his voice.  But the time is not right, or we are not right for one another because God knows best.  So, the problem is I need to exercise my faith but my intuition tells me that he is my man.  Our close relationship further compounds the issue.  Should I, as the ultimate act of faith, limit my contact with this man whom I love so the temptation to manipulate God's plan is minimized?  Or should I have faith that God's plan will prevail despite my intentions?